SCONES with BETTY

was reading the blog about needing a piss and the lack of facilities in this fine city.What happens if you have a dodgy belly after having a piss up and a ruby murray.
Nothing more embaressing that shiting your breeks at 0815 in the morning in shandwick place on a Monday morning.
You can feel it coming and you aint going to do anything to stop this special delivery.Cue right on time and its delivered right in you underpants and you are sitting on it.It starts to make its way down your trouser leg and the punters standing at the door waiting to get off are perplexed as to why you have decided to put the screen up and haul the window open as its -3 degrees outside.Thats just half the battle as there is more emotional problems at the relief end as you sprint out the bus the minute the handbrake is on then walk towards the garage like John Wayne.
Toilets in this city are becoming a joke and you are treated with discourtesy if you abandon your cab whilst looking for a wc.
Pensioners complain that they are going to be late for their colonic irrigation / bingo /chiropodists /scones with Betty / appointment and give you the tut tut look at their watch syndrom. Tell them you are going into Greggs the bakers or the newsagent for a 20 pack.....thats guaranteed to get the steam coming out there ears....do it at Haymarket at 0830 in the morning for best effect