"inebriated kids"
here I was, gently driving my 22 through Stenhouse, late one night, when I
pulled up at a stop. A nicely spoken young lady (all of 16 if she was a day)
tried to drag on her boyfriend. He was steamin'. So pissed he couldn't stand,
let alone walk. OK, what do I do? I could say "fuck off, he's not gettin' on".
But then again he might only be fifteen and I end up in the Evening News for not
allowing a minor on the bus!! Shit. "OK", I says. "If you can drag him on and
drag him off, I'll take you".(I must be fuckin' daft).
Approaching the next stop I spot another gang of inebriated kids. Shit, shit and
double shit. I have to stop, a normal person wants off, Aaaarrggh.. Luckily only
two of the little twats want to get on. Thank fuck. Off they go up the back next
to the 'young lady' and her comatose paramour. Uh, oh. Noise. They don't like
each other. Fuck me, foot down and let's get 'em to where there going and get 'em
off.. It get's better.
Round the corner at Balgreen Primary School. Oh, fuck, no! There's about fifteen
little twats running across the road. Right in front of me. Nutters. I throw out
the anchor. They're heading for the stop. Please God, no! What have I done to
deserve this. On they get, all holding crumpled (but valid) daysavers. Bollocks,
let's get movin'.
The back of this single deck is now heaving with kids spoiling for a fight. A
little old lady turns up at the cab whilst I'm flooring it down the West
Approach Road. "What you goin' to do about it driver?" Fuck all. I didn't say
that, of course.
Lothian Road. Christ! They all want off. My happiness is short-lived. They leave
the 'comatose paramour' behind. The 'young lady' claims she can't drag him any
further and would the driver kindly do the honours. Bollocks. No way. Stay in
cab. Engine off.
Luckily this is a clear signal to the big guy sat near the front. He'd had
enough. He drags the boy off the bus and dumps at the stop! The big guy gets
back on. "We can go now, driver", he says. We did. (APRIL 08)
New driver
'THANKS FOR TRAVELLING SCUMBUS'