BLOG about fleas

this "incident" started off when the new floor tridents were introduced on the 44's. typical day ho hum which altered as soon as i got to the cattle market. i was approached by a woman holding some mutt or other "DRIVER MY DOG'S JUST GOT FLEAS OFF THE SEAT OF YOUR BUS" eh??!! missed our medication have we i says to myself. she soon got off (thank fuck) i was beginning to think maybe somebody hud poisoned ma curry. anyhow orf up to balerno we trots. no sooner had i got there and picked assorted skulls up when the radio chirps "COME IN THE 44 DRIVER WHO HAD A COMPLAINT AT 1300 HRS OR SO"
hello control that was me (waving his hands) "right driver s. what happened" well it wiz like this so i added my shillings worth by saying that i think she'd missed her medication.
AHEM!! "not so driver s. we've had this from shrubhill have a look about the bus and see if anything's jumpin aboot" worst of all i had one of those radio's that were set mega loud so the skulls i'd picked up were almost pissing themselves laughing. i was convinced at that point i was hallucinating. so off to wallyford we sets i got as far as juniper green the radio goes again for the second time "did ye see anythin jumpin about" WHIT!!! so by now i'm getting my hair off and i ended the conversation by telling control to wipe their arses with their reports. OK PSYCO COOOL right! radio off!!fukit!!
got to the canal bridge who's waiting but that lunar trick,( oh fuck here we go) so i thanked her from the bottom of my heart for the public humiliation, so she hobbles up the bus muttering etc YOU STARTED IT YA BAM, JEEEZUS. trundles to the west end and thought right put the radio on just in case. got to jenners about a billion folk waitin and the radio goes for the THIRD time. WHIT THE FUCK D'YEEZ WANT NOO "s'awright pal i'll get the next yin" S'WHAT FUCK OFF AN DIE.

so by now you could detect some fear in controllers voice "EH CALM DOWN DRIVER S. THERE'S A CHANGE OVER WAITIN AT LEOPOLD PLACE" SHOVE IT UP YER ARSES" not noticing the bus starting to empty. so muttering and growling i got to leopold place driver with the change over made a comment aye aye fuck off.
next day comes into central and it was aye aye. and it was only when the poison dwarf route manager came downstairs and demanded a report that silence descended.

then the explosion "AH DINNAE BELEIVE IT"
fuck's sake i thought i was dreamin maself thought i was here to drive a bus.
it was only when that the subject came up at the svq bollox that was startin up at the time that they realised err well perhaps not s. old boy what.
since they couldn't stuff me for that one they fucked me good style when i clipped a bus wing mirror a week or so later, hands up i was givin it large right enough. result? severe final written warning. fit for wiping one's arse upon and fuck all else.